10 Things Your Non-Smoking Friends Won’t Tell You

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If you are a smoker, your friends definitely notice. They might not tell you, but your cigarette use is probably getting on their nerves. While your friends might be too nice to tell you the truth, here are 10 things your nonsmoking friends are probably thinking every time you light up.

1. Your Breath Stinks!

you-stink

After you smoke a cigarette, your breath is horrible. Sitting next to you in a restaurant is brutal because it’s like sniffing an ashtray every time you speak. Mints don’t help either. When you smoke a cigarette and pop a breath mint, it just smells like a minty ashtray.

2. Your House Grosses Us Out

filthy-house

Your house smells bad and we’re pretty sure that cancer is lurking on your coffee table. We know that you can’t possibly go outside when you need a smoke, but we can’t possibly linger in your home because the smell is overwhelming an we are sure the carcinogens are circulating in the air even now.

3. We Don’t Want to Carpool

car-stinks

When it’s time to go somewhere, we have this inner battle going on in our mind. We don’t want to hurt your feelings, but we’d really prefer not to carpool. There is no way we will ride in your car because it smells like a big pile of cigarette butts. But we also don’t want you riding in our car because you will make it stink too.

4. You Hair Smells Bad Even After You Take a Shower

hair-smells

Sorry to harp on the smell again, but your hair really smells bad. It’s like all that smoke just clings to your scalp. Even after you take a shower, we can smell the smoke in your hair and it is baffling to us. Did you smoke in the shower or is the smell just that infused in your hair follicles? Either way, we love you, but your hair stinks.

5. It’s Annoying When You Have to Take Smoke Breaks Constantly

girl-waiting

Nicotine addiction must be awful because you are taking smoke breaks every half hour and it’s really annoying. When we want to move on to the next part of the day, we are forced to wait around while you go have yet another cigarette.

6. We Really Don’t Want to Go Outside With You While You Smoke

outdoor-smoker

It’s really nice of you to invite us outside so we can continue our conversation while you smoke, but we’d rather not. The whole reason why you have to go outside to smoke is so that people like us don’t have to inhale the fumes. So why would we voluntarily follow you outside? No thanks.

7. Your Cough is Definitely from Smoking

smoker-cough

That chronic, rattily, disgusting cough that you insist is from allergies is actually from cigarettes. You constantly complain about your allergies or speculate that you might have bronchitis or pneumonia, but secretly, we are always thinking that you could just quit smoking and the cough would inevitably disappear.

8. You’re Only Broke Because You Spend Your Money on Cigarettes

no-money

It is endlessly annoying when you claim to be broke. We know how much you smoke and we also know how much cigarettes cost. Don’t complain about not having money for rent while chain smoking. You are making yourself look stupid.

9. Yes, We Do Mind if You Smoke Around Us.

7-2ndhandsmoke

Thanks for asking, but it makes us feel awkward when you ask if we mind your smoking. If we ask you not to smoke, you are going to be offended and likely leave early. But if we say it’s fine for you to light up, we are really going to be miserable the whole night. So it’s a losing situation for us. Just be courteous and refrain from smoking around your nonsmoking friends please.

10. Everyone Knows that You Smoke.

everyone-knows

You might think that no one knows about your secret smoking addiction, but we’ve got to be honest… everyone knows. No matter how much air freshener you spray on your clothes and car or how many mints you eat, you still smell like cigarettes. Your teeth are kind of yellow from the nicotine and it’s suspicious how you make up excuses to go out to your car every half hour. It’s obvious that you’re a smoker so why are you trying to pretend you’re not?

[vapeguide]

Jimmy, lover, blogger, vaper and ex-smoker. I’ve been blogging about and supporting Vaping since 2009. They changed my life and I think history will show them as one of the most significant public health invention of the 21st century.

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18 Responses

  1. Non says:

    This. All of this. I have one friend who is an extremely heavy smoker and I’ve become really sensitive to smoke because of it. #7 gave me a chuckle. Do they all do that? She has this cough so bad she can’t hold a conversation, turns blue and puffy, and blames her allergies. It’s ridiculous. Today i used 3 different excuses to not come over to her house and finally had to text her that my lungs hurt from her cigarettes. She has not responded. Ugh!

  2. yourmom says:

    I choose not to be friends with smokers… it’s not fair to choose a friend with an addiction and expect them to just be able to live like a non smoker… It’s deff a deal breaker in the friendship department if someone smokes.

  3. FactChecker says:

    Just to set it straight, a smoker’s teeth aren’t yellow because of the nicotine, it’s because of the “tar” additives in cigarettes. Nicotine is colorless and odorless.

  4. Drew says:

    Hahahaha this is so funny and true. Numbers 1,2,3,5,8 apply to my friend Lol!!! The reason why I found this, is I was asking google, “should I tell my friend his place smells like an ash tray?” He always invites me over but not just reaking, its messy and dirty.

    Someone said being a smoker is a deal breaker in a friendship. Weird. Dating I could understand. But straight up not being friends with someone. Lol wow, douche bag alert.

  5. Anon says:

    I am 16 and live with my grandma and she smokes in the house !!! I always smell no matter what i do and it causes me so much anxiety at school bc numerous people have pointed out the smoke smell. It’s so unfair because I don’t smoke and do NOT plan on it. Oh and when i say something about it she says ” i don’t wanna hear it” or “don’t start” and hacks a lung up . *cough cough*

  6. Lizzy says:

    I totally understand not wanting to go in a house where people smoke it stinks sometimes but a lot of people i know only smoke outside. But some of its ridiculous you know how many people second hand smoke has killed in the world 0 thats right 0 people. And if you stop being friends with someone because they smoke then you werent actually their friend there are tons of things people do besides smoking that i personally cant stand but i dont constantly berate them for it that wouldnt make me a very good person now if ypur friend wants to quit smoking it would be great to help them but dont bw an ass hole because they do something you dont like.

  7. Jamal Mahmoud says:

    I believe that smokers have a hard time fighting their addictions. That is what we are constantly fighting—our inner demons. I agree with the writer’s post comments; that vaping has revolutionized how we can use devices to supplement our nicotine cravings.

    Another issue is that we should not be critical of smokers. I am guilty of this crime, my father always gets upset with me when I try to tell him to cut down on smoking. But he loves it so much; and it is sad, because it has been very detrimental to his health. I could see what cigarettes are doing to him. And I hate the fact that it has gotten the best of him.

    Last but not least, we should keep fighting tobacco companies. And we should be inventing new products and services to help people quit or cut down on smoking cigarettes. There is a new product that I invented and it is scented body oils with nicotine. Thank you so much, and the fight continues against Big Tobacco.

    .

  8. Dadsdf says:

    More proof that non smokers are the most annoying people on the earth.

    You’re still going to get cancer from all the pollution in the city that you inhale into your lungs and you’re deluded if you think otherwise.

    Smoking kills less than cars and alcohol but I imagine most of you drive around in cars that pollute and regularly drink alcohol.

    This list is nonsense implying every smoker smokes around people, in their house and in their car. Oh and if your skin and breath smelt after smoking, it’s because you don’t know how to wash properly or clean your teeth.

  9. Kar says:

    I don’t believe smoking cigarettes causes cancer. If it did these smokers would be nonexistent. And if it did- What good is it if smoking causes cancer and they live into their 70s – their life is already over other than the fact theyre broke. I wish the federal govt would stay out of it and let more of the poisons in Cigarettes expose the smoker so they die off sooner and leave the world healthier to breath in.

  10. Ian Coleman says:

    While I’ll agree that some people actually are this offended by smoking, this intensity of aversion is fairly rare, and is usually the result of excessive credulity about the ostensible dangers of second-hand smoke . Really attractive people don’t have to worry that people won’t want to kiss them if they smoke. The young Uma Thurman smoked, and yet was still able to seduce men without much effort.

    I’m 65, so I grew up at a time when half of adults smoked, and you could smoke anywhere without anyone remarking on it. I myself didn’t smoke until I was forty, but I was never in the least offended by the smell of smoke before I started. When I quit (about ten years ago), I did not suddenly start to hate the smell of tobacco smoke, which is still, to me, a pleasant aroma.

    People who are grossed out by smoking are either neurotically oversensitive or are cultivating an extreme aversion to smoking as a display of superiority. If the worst thing that happens to you all day is that you catch a whiff of cigarette smoke, you are living a charmed life.

    Incidentally, when I smoked (about twenty cigs a day), I also maintained a running program. Smoking doesn’t noticeably diminish your wind If you otherwise keep in shape. When I was fifty I would often run five miles in fifty minutes, and smoke a few cigarettes on the way. Since smoking did no apparent damage to me when I did it every day, I find it difficult to believe that any non-smoker with normal lungs could possibly be harmed at all by the much-diluted smoke that smokers breathe out.

  11. Ian Coleman says:

    And another thing: When I was growing up in the 60s, probably half the children in my classes at school had parents who smoked. (Mine did not.) I never once noticed that the children from smoking households smelled any differently that the children from non-smoking households. And I would have had the acute sense of smell of childhood. So this absurd hypersensitivity to smoking that so many people display nowadays has got to be forced and affected.

    My parents, who did not smoke, had ashtrays in their living room for guests who did. Nobody in our family ever complained that our house was less pleasant to live in after we had had smokers over for company. That just never happened.

    When I went to university in the early 70s, and lived in a students’ residence, you could have a smoking or a non-smoking roommate. I was a non-smoker, so I had a non-smoking roommate, but our smoking friends would come over to our dorm room and smoke, and neither of us ever complained about it, because we didn’t mind. I mean, not even a little. It just never occurred to us that we were being poisoned, or that our room would stink. These are modern hypersensitivities that have been impressed upon us by puritanical non-smokers.

    If you smoke, you may smoke around me. I don’t mind. I do mind the superior attitude and aggressive rudeness of non-smokers.

    And yet another thing: In Canada, smoking marijuana for pleasure will soon be legal. Now that’s a smell, and everybody is going to have to get used to it. I have never smoked marijuana in my life, and I have a moralistic contempt for people who do. But I’m going to have enough consideration for other people to keep that to myself.

  12. Steve says:

    If you could see the smoke coming from car exhausts. Cigarettes would be the least of your concerns

  13. Ian Coleman says:

    I could write a blog page called “Things your friends who smoke can’t tell you because they’d be shouted down and called liars.” Here’s an example: Smoking does no discernable damage to your health the first ten years after you start. Seriously. If a guy starts smoking when he is sixteen, ten years later he will be twenty-six. Do you see a lot of weak, sickly twenty-six year-olds around? No? That’s because tobacco smoke is such a mild, slow-acting poison that the young can just shrug it off. In the fifties, probably a majority of professional athletes smoked, and it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that there were Olympic medallists in some of the running events who were regular smokers.

    Every one of the warnings that are now mandatory on cigarette packages would be accurate if you appended the phrase: “after thirty years,” because that’s about how long it takes for health problems to develop in the average habitual smoker. Also, most of the worst diseases seen in smokers are obviously more common in heavy smokers. The two-packs-a-day and up guys. And yet, despite the clear link between the amount smoked and the consequent risk of disease, anti-smokers have gotten away with the ridiculous lie that a non-smoker can be harmed by breathing for a few minutes in a room that smells of cigarette smoke. If you believe that you are being gullible to the point of aggressive stupidity.

    Here’s something that people over forty won’t tell the young: The aging process is real. No matter what you eat, no matter what exercises you do, you will eventually lose much of the resilience and most of the good looks of youth, and there’s nothing much you can do about it. Your capacity for enjoying life will be diminished accordingly. Many of these anti-smoking zealots actually think that the effects of advancing age can be headed off. Bad news, kids, but that ain’t true.

  14. Ian Coleman says:

    When you get to be elderly you will be probably be amazed, as I am, at the radical changes that have happened in your lifetime to the lists of behavior that is allowed or shunned. When I was a boy in the fifties and sixties, smoking was not generally viewed as an assault on the health and comfort of everyone around you. People of all classes smoked and nobody (except people who practised severe versions of Protestant Christianity) considered it a moral failing.

    An example of something that was not allowed was swearing, which was considered a terrible social transgression, especially if you did around women. My mother probably went her whole life without actually speaking the main swear words you now hear everywhere, and likely never even heard them spoken in her presence more than a few dozen times. Things change.

    Another dramatic change in what is or isn’t acceptable as common attitudes to homosexuality. In 1970, when I was eighteen, gays and lesbians were despised, by most people, including the educated and otherwise politically liberal. It was a serious insult when someone accused anyone of being homosexual. Now it is considered severely disordered to believe that gay sex acts are immoral, even if they are practised promiscuously. ( Which is more than a little absurd since male homosexual promiscuity caused the North American AIDS epidemic, which killed at least a hundred thousand young, healthy North Americans. This was far worse than the epidemics of disease caused by smoking, which mostly kill the elderly.)

    My point is, the demonization of smoking is just one of those examples of herd cruelty against a disfavoured minority. The larger population pick a subset of people who are doing something for pleasure that most people don’t do and then it becomes okay, and in fact a mark of moral superiority and social class, to insult them. I wouldn’t be so resentful of this if I had never smoked, but I did, and I remember how mean people were to me until I gave in and quit. I’m angry about it.

  15. Ian Coleman says:

    So I just read over the page again, and Mr. Hafrey claims that if he unwisely gives a friend permission to smoke he will be “miserable” for the rest of the evening. Seriously? Miserable? That can’t be literally true. It’s a fake claim designed to demonstrate is his superior sense of personal aesthetics. It’s snobbery.

    • Jimmy Hafrey says:

      We appreciate your comments but this was written in the eyes of non-smokers to give the other side of the story. I am a former smoker myself so I’m not here to shun but we’re just offering all sides. With that said, I will always stand up wanting people to start vaping over smoking.

  16. Ian Coleman says:

    Actually, Mr. Hafrey, you really are offering all sides. You let me make my arguments, which no newspaper would allow. So thanks for that.

    These moral panic bans on things that people do for pleasure do not arise spontaneously. They are instigated and then enforced from above, by powerful elites. Take the persecution of gays and lesbians, for example. When the position that gay and lesbian sex was vile was the social norm (until about 1975, in Canada) the prime proselytizers of it were Christian churches, because Canada was essentially a Christian country at that time. Most people went to church, and took seriously the moralities that were preached there., and religious leaders had the power to shape common attitudes to transgressors of traditional sexual morality.

    It wasn’t just that gays and lesbians were held to be immoral, it was that people who consequently became extremely averse to them were proud of their aversion, which was considered a signifier of moral superiority. Now, of course, the shoes are on the other horse, and people who oppose homophobia are proud of their moral superiority, even while demonstrating an intolerance as punitive of homophobia as the intolerance of homophobia itself. (I am a civil libertarian, and I believe both that gays and lesbian should be left in peace, and that those who dislike them on moral grounds should be free to state those grounds. This is a difficult position to get across since both the champions and detractors of civil rights for gays and lesbians consider me wicked.)

    Anyway, the demonization of smoking has come from above. Once the affluent and educated classes rejected smoking, they decided that no one should smoke without punishment, and that is when the extreme moralistic hatred of smoking and smokers was unleashed. I could tell you stories of aggressive rudeness (such as being ordered to put out my cigarette when I was smoking outside, and the “offended” non-smoker was twenty feet away) that indicate mental derangement on the part of anti-smokers. These people are just plain vicious in their punitive zeal , as the morally certain often are.

    People who hate smokers are often people who themselves have never smoked. Not only that, but they don’t know anyone who smokes. So you have a powerful cohort of moral inquisitors who have the power to fine and shun and insult people who are outside their social circle and who, given the current state of antismoking laws, cannot possibly hurt them back. This bugs me boy.

  17. The Speaker of Truth on Smoking Smell says:

    Smokers absolutely stink. They reek of stale, nasty poisonous chemicals, I just finished with a man i really liked. He was plenty good looking but a) so am i, and b) the smell was so damn ugly. It was a real shame as I think without the smoke he would have smelled so nice. Sorry smokers but know this fact: that you stink, you reek of something very very nasty and no amount of good-looks, money or charm will change the fact.

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