10 Things Your Non-Smoking Friends Won’t Tell You
If you are a smoker, your friends definitely notice. They might not tell you, but your cigarette use is probably getting on their nerves. While your friends might be too nice to tell you the truth, here are 10 things your nonsmoking friends are probably thinking every time you light up.
1. Your Breath Stinks!
After you smoke a cigarette, your breath is horrible. Sitting next to you in a restaurant is brutal because it’s like sniffing an ashtray every time you speak. Mints don’t help either. When you smoke a cigarette and pop a breath mint, it just smells like a minty ashtray.
2. Your House Grosses Us Out
Your house smells bad and we’re pretty sure that cancer is lurking on your coffee table. We know that you can’t possibly go outside when you need a smoke, but we can’t possibly linger in your home because the smell is overwhelming an we are sure the carcinogens are circulating in the air even now.
3. We Don’t Want to Carpool
When it’s time to go somewhere, we have this inner battle going on in our mind. We don’t want to hurt your feelings, but we’d really prefer not to carpool. There is no way we will ride in your car because it smells like a big pile of cigarette butts. But we also don’t want you riding in our car because you will make it stink too.
4. You Hair Smells Bad Even After You Take a Shower
Sorry to harp on the smell again, but your hair really smells bad. It’s like all that smoke just clings to your scalp. Even after you take a shower, we can smell the smoke in your hair and it is baffling to us. Did you smoke in the shower or is the smell just that infused in your hair follicles? Either way, we love you, but your hair stinks.
5. It’s Annoying When You Have to Take Smoke Breaks Constantly
Nicotine addiction must be awful because you are taking smoke breaks every half hour and it’s really annoying. When we want to move on to the next part of the day, we are forced to wait around while you go have yet another cigarette.
6. We Really Don’t Want to Go Outside With You While You Smoke
It’s really nice of you to invite us outside so we can continue our conversation while you smoke, but we’d rather not. The whole reason why you have to go outside to smoke is so that people like us don’t have to inhale the fumes. So why would we voluntarily follow you outside? No thanks.
7. Your Cough is Definitely from Smoking
That chronic, rattily, disgusting cough that you insist is from allergies is actually from cigarettes. You constantly complain about your allergies or speculate that you might have bronchitis or pneumonia, but secretly, we are always thinking that you could just quit smoking and the cough would inevitably disappear.
8. You’re Only Broke Because You Spend Your Money on Cigarettes
It is endlessly annoying when you claim to be broke. We know how much you smoke and we also know how much cigarettes cost. Don’t complain about not having money for rent while chain smoking. You are making yourself look stupid.
9. Yes, We Do Mind if You Smoke Around Us.
Thanks for asking, but it makes us feel awkward when you ask if we mind your smoking. If we ask you not to smoke, you are going to be offended and likely leave early. But if we say it’s fine for you to light up, we are really going to be miserable the whole night. So it’s a losing situation for us. Just be courteous and refrain from smoking around your nonsmoking friends please.
10. Everyone Knows that You Smoke.
You might think that no one knows about your secret smoking addiction, but we’ve got to be honest… everyone knows. No matter how much air freshener you spray on your clothes and car or how many mints you eat, you still smell like cigarettes. Your teeth are kind of yellow from the nicotine and it’s suspicious how you make up excuses to go out to your car every half hour. It’s obvious that you’re a smoker so why are you trying to pretend you’re not?